“Please keep shutters close or monkey make you crazy”
Been to a local restaurant and been amused with the items in the menu, or seen a hilariously written board at a roadside mechanic. Read on and be further amused 
Chinese In-flight Magazine:
“Besides, try to prepare all you need before pack, and then, you can arrange everything’s position entirely, or you will make yourself confusion”
Sign on a metal-detector scanner in France:
People with peace-maker do not pass
Qatar:
Please do not use the lift when it is not working.
Spotten in an Indian bar:
Child Bear avlabel here.
In a hotel lobby, Beijing, China:
Good apperance please no watermelon please.
Paris, France:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
Bucharest, Romania:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
Signboard at an Indian automobile mechanic.
Machenic all Maruti Hondai cars truck vahicles is cheep
Seoul:
Choose twin bed or marriage size; we regret no King Kong size.
In a hotel cloakroom, Berlin, Germany:
Please hang yourself here.
In an Italian hotel, signs by the bell:
If service is required, give two strokes to the maid and three to the waiter.
Tokyo, Japan:
Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
Brunei:
Please keep shutters close or monkey make you crazy.
Italy:
This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy solitude.
Copenhagen, Denmark:
Take care of burglars.
Moscow, Russia:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
Acapulco, Mexico:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Japan:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
Petrol station, Santa Fe, New Mexico:
We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.
Newspaper advertisement, Manila, Philippines:
It’s summer time! Bring your children to the Garma Specialty Clinic for Circumcision. (Children and Adult).
Painless. Bloodless. German Cut.
Source: Lost in Translation - Misadventures in English Abroad by Charlie CrokerÂ
Tags: English Howlers, Humour, Lost in Translation
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